How to Crystallize a Life: Half Here/Half There
This morning as I walked my favorite nature path in my beloved home state of Minnesota, I tuned into the changing trees around me. We are nearing the peak of Fall foliage season where every day brings about a different colorful panorama from Mother Nature (MN in MN!) Today’s vision included many trees that were half yellow and half green, portending the coming changes that all Minnesotans annually grieve.
In this gorgeous fall season, these half-n-half trees reminded me of my journey to crystallize my life. These last few weeks as a Minnesotan have had me feeling like I'm half here and half already in my new home state of California. I’m no longer living in a home but in a collection of half-packed boxes surrounded by empty walls. This energetic tug-of-war has been exhausting and emotionally draining. I have endless to-do lists that now have the codes of “MN” and “CA” next to them so I can keep my life (or lives) straight, all during the busy Fall speaking season.
I’m living in a cyclone of my own making.
All of us at one time or another have occupied the painful half here/half there purgatory that accompanies all big transitions, from new hometowns to new relationships to new careers. We tend to acutely notice this razor’s edge of half here/half there. When we get closer to the end of a major transition, however, there's a gravitational pull toward the end zone that fuels us to keep moving forward despite the fatigue, overwhelm, and loss. We've received enough direction, support, and validation that makes us prepared, if not excited, for the new reality we are creating, even in the face of pain.
However, in the half her