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Granting Ourselves Gentleness

I’ve decided to be gentle with myself.

I’m gentle with that part of me who is working reeeeeeally hard with my job, my nutrition, my exercise, my yoga and meditation practice, my new home, my alcohol abstinence, and my Brandon abstinence. Some initiatives, alas, are proving more tolerable than others. 😩

I’m gentle with that part of me who is angry as hell at this whole thing and even angrier at those who are taking it lightly and putting people I love at risk.

I’m gentle with that part of me who gets all boo-hooey about being single, being denied my previously-scandalous social life, and being cooped up in a tiny space with a womanchild who currently hates me.

I’m gentle with that part of me who doesn’t feel good, look good, or act good.

I’m gentle with that part of me who fears the worst and whose heart aches for a strong set of arms to fall into.

I’m gentle with that part of me who is struggling to maintain connections with family and friends in a world with too many screens and not enough time.

I’m gentle with that part of me who wants to create her own brand of amazing but just doesn’t have the energy to do it (yet).

I’m gentle with the unread emails, dirty floors, and boxes that have yet to be unpacked.

On this perfect Minnesota night, oh how I wish I could be enjoying patio happy hour with dear friends eating tacos and sipping mules before performing standup comedy instead of sitting here alone on my tiny patio drinking lemon water. But I am doing my very best to stay gentle instead of harsh. Grateful instead of bitter. Present to what is instead of pining for what was.

This is hard. But it’s even harder when we are fighting against it.

May we grant each other — and ourselves — just a little more Grace. Grace to smile at the missteps. Grace to acknowledge the grief. Grace to be both sad and determined. Grace to show the world our ugly.

I want to move through this nightmare as strongly as possible. I want to be better on the other side than I was when it started. I don’t want this to just be about hand sanitizer, masks, and toilet paper.

On this beautiful night, dear one, join me in giving yourself some Grace. Just like me, you are doing your best. You are rocking it. You are a warrior. You are human.

And that’s enough. 💜

Sending you love, well wishes, and gentleness.

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