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Getting Up vs. Giving Up: The Four Pillars of Resilience

“What do you speak about?” was one of the pre-qualifying messages I recently received from a potential suitor on Bumble, a popular dating app.

“I speak on resilience, change, mindfulness...those kinds of things.”

Instead of immediately accelerating the conversation with the oh-so-romantic “Send me a pic” text, he refreshingly writes, “Tell me about resilience.”

What makes people bounce back from adversity to shine even brighter? Why does someone get up instead of staying down after a nasty, metaphorical face-plant at work, at home or on the field?

After sitting quietly for a moment, these four nuggets of awesome appeared in my consciousness, and eventually in my response: “Get quiet every day. Stop caring about what other people think. Make friends with fear. Toughen up mentally to be comfortable with discomfort.”

If I ever get a chance to actually meet Mr. Maybe, here is what I would say if he wanted to learn more: